I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
