He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
