I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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