Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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