all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
