I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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