Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
