Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Bring me that man meat
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
