So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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