yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
