The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
