everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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