This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
