Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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