Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
