he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
