If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
