I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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