Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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