They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
