is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
