Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
