I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
