By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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