omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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