pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
