also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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