I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
