Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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