I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
