My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
