yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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