New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You've changed since you got that strap on
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
