He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
