Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
