Plan B is the new Plan A
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
