I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
