Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
