We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
