I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
