Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
