She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
