It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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