She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
