I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
