Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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