capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
