Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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