i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
