we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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