Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
MIDGETS
????
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
